I’m 37, independent, strong, intelligent and pretty, so they say...my parents and friends, that is. Oh, I guess I’m also hilarious, popular, talented, stable, and I can’t seem to keep a god damned guy to save my otherwise perfect life.
I have a great job that I love. I have no baggage. Ok, I'm divorced but it was so long ago and I’m totally over it. I surround myself with morally-sound, professionally-developed people and have great relationships with each one of them. I have a wonderful, close-knit family. I have a great place downtown that I love. I am an active volunteer and “do my part” in the world. I am a good person and I take care of everyone in my life. I have a cat and a dog, I drive an SUV, which I paid off with my own money and I have a few impressive talents. I am also really funny...and not just “for a girl” funny. I’m very social and make friends quite easily, I am healthy and in shape, and I’m also one tough little cookie. Not to sound egotistical, but I’m what some people would look at on paper and call “a catch.”
So what’s the fucking problem here?
WELL, I’LL TELL YOU.
I was recently dumped. By someone who didn’t deserve to DATE me let alone DUMP me. Now that I have some clarity, I realize that I should have seen this coming like a teenage boy with a Vicky’s catalog. The red flags. They were there right from the beginning, and were thrown at me all the way to the end. So many fucking red flags I could have made a quilt. But I was so excited about this boy that I just totally ignored the “WARNING” sirens in my head. After 7 months of giving 200% of myself to the “relationship” I see where I went wrong. I ignored the red flags.
I love you're outlet. and you are awesome. and I am right with you - on paper I'm "why does that girl not have a boyfriend" in reality I believe I'm the same way. and so are you. but here's the beauty of this that somewhere in my heart of hearts I completely trust - that above us someone is doing us a favor. He (or she) is introducing us to all the wrong guys so that later in life we don't go through this (because we all go through it - well 99% of us anyhow)- that we are stable and happy enough with ourselves that they're not giving us one that's "good enough to settle down with" because the right one is coming. later. instead they give us assholes because they know we won't keep them, and we don't settle and we keep playing the game and trusting that the right one is out there. because God help me, he better be - because all this preaching and "pedestalling" (is this a word?) I'm offering up - wears on me -big time but at least for now I'll believe it. and no matter what, I'm here for you - and others like you. because I trust somewhere we are all here for a reason.
ReplyDeletesomewhere.
I am with you on this one. I am usually a good judge of character but I missed the boat on this last one. Red Flags all the way...... I was completely head over heels like I have never been before and got DUMPED on my ass....It still stings a little a year later. Did I mention he certainly didnt deserve me either. I was way to good for him! A wise person said to me that the oppostie of hate is indifference.....I am getting there slowly but surely. I am finally starting to forgive myself for ingoring those flags and making excuses. NEVER AGAIN! LISTEN TO YOUR GUT LADIES!
ReplyDeleteLadies, did you hear her? "Listen to yer gut." Great advice, BN, thanks for posting!
ReplyDelete