POLISHING TURDS

I have learned a valuable lesson through the years that I would like to share with you, ladies. 

The lesson is this: Don't think YOU will be the girl to change him.

People don't change. They may grow or learn lessons, but who they are is who they are. If you are dating a guy who has a past, it will no doubt become your future. Look at a guy's history, ladies. He's not going to change his ways for you. Why did his marriage fail? Why did his last girlfriend break up with him? Why is he no longer banging that bartender? Know what you are getting yourself into.

Red flags should go up if a guy tells you his last girlfriend, his ex-wife or his past bump 'n grind is needy, whacko, clingy, boring, or bipolar. Assess the situation. Look at his past. Look at the present. Then think about your future. 

You are an ex-girlfriend, or an ex-wife, even a past bump 'n grind to some man out there. He's probably calling you "crazy" as we speak. And we both know that you're not! But he's trying to convince his new lay that you are so she'll ignore the red flags. Every asshole uses this tactic, ladies. They convince us that the one before was a nut job who drove him to act the way he acted. When in reality, she's just another one of us, and he probably drove her batty with his ridiculous behavior. I mean, let's be honest, how many women do you know who are actually insane? OK, a few. But chances are, if he dated her or married her, she must not have been that loony. 

So we need to band together, ladies. If she couldn't change him neither will you. That is not up for debate. Stop defending this guy against his ex. You are not in competition with her. She was with him. She knows him. Don't question that. Look at her as a valuable resource who could prevent you from a lifetime, or at the very least, a few months of suffering.

A strong, smart, beautiful woman recently gave me some advice about a guy I was dating. Red flags went up like fireworks on the Fourth of July. So I chose to ignore the warnings, label her as a crazy ex, and put my trust in the guy who would prove to me soon enough that she was right and I was a dumb ass. 

That guy is out there right now. Looking for the next "you're it." Who knows, maybe it's YOU! So if you run into a well-dressed, charming, good-looking guy who feeds you his bullshit about how hard he tried to make it work with me, who gives you puppy-dog-eyes and tells you how demanding I was and how he just couldn't give me what I wanted, don't fall for it! Throw a flag on that play, lady!